White Flag

December has put me through the ringer so far. Emotionally and physically. First, a friend's 2-month old son passed. A few days later, we had layoffs at work (for the second time in 3 months) where my manager was let go and a coworker stepped into that role. There is much uncertainty and apprehension around my future, as well as many adjustments. A few days after that, Landon tested positive with the flu. Shortly after, both Carter and I had the flu. We missed many fun events during that time such as the Christmas program at church, my work holiday party, and Landon walking in the local parade with the Boy Scouts. Then there was Connecticut. My heart is still so heavy. And just yesterday, I went back to the doctor, as I was starting to feel worse, and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and pneumonia. But the clock doesn't stop. I can barely get to work in the mornings and am doing everything I can to hold my head up at my desk, but I have no vacation nor sick time and must go in. Landon's lunches still need to be packed (although I forgot to send a drink the other day) and homework needs to get done (crap, I'm pretty sure he has a project due this week). Kids need to be fed. Schools performances need to be attended (did I mention that I missed the Christmas party at daycare where Santa came?). Christmas presents need to be bought and wrapped. Christmas cards need to be addressed and mailed (contrary to Christopher's beliefs that we should just dub them "New Year's cards" and mail by next Tuesday). Clothes still need to be washed. Books need to be read at bedtime. My step-mom told me that if I didn't get some rest and take care of myself that I'll end up in the hospital. It's sad to admit, but that sounded kind of nice. At least I'd get some rest there. I'm waving my white flag to December as high as I can. And praying it sees it.