What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Landon is a worrier. He always has been so last night's conversation should not have come as a surprise to me. I don't know how we got on the topic (usually these conversations pop up out of the blue) but I'd like to do my best to recreate most of the conversation...

L: I don't know what college to go to. What colleges are there?
Me: Well...there's NC State. It's like North Carolina's version of Virginia Tech. And it's close to home.
L: I want to go to the college you went to.
Me: Well...I went to a college for girls only. But NC State is right across the street from Mommy's school.
L: But I don't know what kind of job I want to have.
Me: What do you think you'd like to do?
L: (starting to panic) I HAVE NO IDEA!
Me: Ok. Well you have plenty of time to figure it out. Like 14 years.
L: NO I DON'T. I have to know what I want to do before I can even pick a college.
Me: Ok, buddy. It's ok. We'll figure it all out. You like math and you're super good at it. How about a job where you have to use math.
L: Like what?
Me: (googles "jobs for people good at math") What about an accountant?
L: What do they do?
Me: They deal with money.
L: I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH MONEY!
Me: What about a math teacher?
L: NO! I don't want to teach.
Me: Do you want to work with people or...
L: I want to work alone.
Me: Okaaaaaay. What about an engineer? You'd make a really good engineer. And NC State has a really good engineering program. You can design cool stuff. And I think they make good  money.
L: I don't want to be super rich. And I don't want to be poor. I just want to have enough money.
Me: Ok. (looks at google some more) Oooooh...what about an astronomer? They use math for cool space stuff.
L: WHAT? I DON'T EVEN LIKE TELESCOPES.
Me: Ok. (looks some more) OH! HOW ABOUT A METEOROLOGIST? Like Eric at the Y. You love weather.
L: (getting teary-eyed and extremely panicked) THEY HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE THE WEATHER. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO THAT.
Me: Well, you'd learn how to. Or you wouldn't even have to tell people the weather. There are lots of jobs in meteorology that do other stuff. You could study earthquakes or tsunamis or the oceans or rocks.
L: Where would I learn to do that?
Me: Well, Eric went to NC State.
L: What? Do I have to go to NC State for everything?
Me: (stares)
L: I can't do that. Those aren't fun jobs.
Me: Ok. Well let me google fun jobs. (googles "fun jobs") Ok, the first one is a Ferrari instructor and that's just not feasible. Ok how about a pilot? Uncle Craig is a pilot.
L: WHAT?!?! AND CRASH INTO THE OCEAN? NO!
Me: Ok. How about a firefighter?
L: I AM NOT BURNING UP IN A FIRE.
Me: Buddy, we'll figure it out. You need to get through elementary school, then middle school, then high school. And as you start taking classes in middle and high school, you'll figure out what you like to do and what might be a good fit for you. You have plenty of time and we'll help you.
L: I'll be a janitor.
Me: What? You want to clean up people's pee and poop and maybe even puke?
L: They don't do that.
Me: Landon, janitors clean toilets.
L: Oh. I don't want to do that!
Me: We'll get it figured out, buddy. Don't worry so much. Let's think about everything you are doing this summer!
L: I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M GOING TO BE AND WHAT COLLEGE TO GO TO!!!
Me: We'll get it figured out, buddy. We'll get it figured out. Time for bed now.


May I remind you... he's only 8.

My Brother Drives Me Crazy

Creative writing assignment by Landon Bagley, Grade 2

My Brother Drives Me Crazy

First, my brother loses Legos sometimes. It makes me angry. Once he lost a mini figure and it took a while to find it. It felt like it took an hour when it propaly only took 30 mins.

After that when I was sick and I wanted to go to bed fast, my brother talked and talked. I stayed up late. I was not just sick I was also tired. I wanted to go back to sleep but I had to go to school the next day.

Finally, when I want to play my iPad my brother says I want to play Landon's iPad. Mommy and Daddy usually say okay Carter you can play Landon's iPad and it drives me crazy. He usually does not give it to me to play it. He is only 4.

That's why my brother drives me crazy.

Bagley Boy Funnies

Me:  What do you guys want for lunch?
Carter (without pause):  Chocolate chips!  Fruit snacks!  Can-deeeeeeeeee!

Me:  Morning!
Carter:  Sofia broke the window and she's gonna be in trouble and then she can't go to the circus!
(Whoa.  I need coffee.)

I am addicted to Hay Day on my iPad.  Yes, an electronic farming game.  But I love it.  Landon has been bugging me to play so we downloaded it onto Christopher's iPad and he's worse than I am!  He plays all.the.time.  And he's a terrible farmer and businessman.  His animals are always unfed because he doesn't have enough veggies to make the food.  He's always out of money because he blows all of his making his farm pretty with decorations.  LOL  He always needs axes, saws, nails, etc. to expand his barn and cut down trees.  And somehow he talks his mom into selling him hers really cheap.  So then I am left without the tools I need and didn't even make a lot of money on them.  The other day, he told me to go look at his farm.  He has made "M heart L" with his crop fields. For Mommy and Landon. Oh, my heart.

Yes, baby. You can have anything you want. Just love me forever. And carve our names on a tree. When you're old enough to use a knife. Obvs.

Oreo Delite

One of Landon's recent homework assignments was to create and write a recipe for a yummy holiday treat. I am sure you can take one look at this recipe and determine who helped him invent this "Oreo Delite." Also, I think we are going to try it out! :)

Funny Bagley Boys

In the van, Landon told me "Mommy, I like it when you sing because your voice sounds nice." Carter's immediate response was, "I yike it when you just talk."  O_O

While in the dressing room trying on party dresses, the boys told me that I looked pretty and looked like a princess.

Carter was dipping his fingers in Ranch dressing. Landon asked him, "Carter, do you want to get fat?" Carter pushed away the Ranch and said, "NO!"

Carter's class has been discussing occupations and they are were to dress up as what they wanted to be when they grew up. His choice: a turkey. Yeah. A turkey.

Landon got upset because he stepped in pee in the bathroom. "Somebody peed on the floor!" Um, yeah. It was him.

Landon loves to help me cook. He begs to make "pigs-in-a-blanket" all of the time because he can prep those himself (1/2 hot dog and slice of cheese wrapped in a crescent roll). After making his last batch he told me that he was "a professional at making pigs-in-a-blanket."

Recent Bagley Boy Funnies

Carter:  "I sad cuz I don't want anyone to die me."

I caught Carter in the bathroom with a sink-full of water and puddles on the floor. He was trying to wipe up the floor with a flushable wipe when I found him. He looked at me and said, "I just keening up my mess, Mommy."

Carter threw a massive tantrum because his own thumb "didn't taste right."

Landon:  "I'll practice that when we get home like 10 or 9 times. Or maybe just 2."

Landon tried to teach me to play Temple Run on my iPad. His response to my low score was "try to do a little better next time, Mommy."

Carter to Landon about a coloring book:  "Don't color on my color! I don't color on your color. So don't color on my color!"

Carter:  "If you break somebody, it won't be good."

Carter on going to the mall:  "I don't wanna go to da mall cuz dey have a scare-wee choochoo twain and yowd potties."

Me:  "Boys, I want you to be quiet and not run in the library."
Carter:  "Cuz you don't wanna spank your babies?"

Carter:  "I make you a art-ject. It's gonna be a house and a gate. Don't break it cuz it was a hard time."  (He told me this every day for about a week and a half. Never saw my house and gate art.)

Carter: "Mommy, I yike stars. And bats. Yes, I yike stars and bats."

Some nights, Christopher has his shirt off at dinner because he just finished lifting weights in the garage. Shortly after we start eating, Landon's shirt comes off. Then Carter's. And the boys declare "MAN TIME."

Bagley Boy Funnies

Carter: Play nice wif me, Yandon!
Landon: I am!
Carter: Don't you talk a me like dat!

When asked to sit on the potty, Carter replied, "No. I no go potty, Mommy. Cuuuuuuz I too busy."

Also, when talking about potty training, Carter yelled, "I don't wanna go on da potty train!"

Landon looked at my phone and said, "Oh, you're on Twitter." When I asked how he knew, he replied, "because of the bird."

Landon said you get strong when you are really sweaty. O_O

The Zoo

Carter cried for 45 minutes last night because I wouldn't take him to the zoo. It started with him asking if there would be giraffes at Landon's school when we got there. I explained to him that giraffes do not attend school, but we can see them at the zoo. He asked to go to the zoo. I told him that we could go in the spring. Enter tears.

Landon even explained to him that we can't go now because the animals are all very sleepy and we wouldn't be able to see them.

Later, I was recounting the story to Christopher trying not to say the "Z" word. Landon was listening and chimed in, "Daddy, he's upset because we won't take him to the Z-O-O (spelling it out) tonight." He also had a look on his face like "can you believe that?"

Always a laugh in the Bagley household.

Recent Landon Funnies

Yeah, so...two of Landon's most recent funnies deals with alcohol. Don't judge.

At the Durham Bulls baseball game, I ordered Landon a Cheerwine (thinking it didn't have caffeine...btw, it does!!!). When I ordered it, he said, "But, Mommy - I can't have wine!".

I was playing a letter matching game with Landon and I asked him what word starts with the letter B. His immediate response: "Beer"!!!

Spanish Lessons with Landon

Tonight the boys and I were watching Thomas the Train. One of the trains exclaimed, "Bust my bumpers!". Landon looked at me and said, "That means 'engine broke' in Spanish."

BTW, my smart little Spanish-translating boy GRADUATES from Preschool tomorrow complete with a cap & gown! Tears will be shed, I can promise you!

Trait of the Bagley Boys

Landon has gotten ADDICTED to Angry Birds. I mean, really addicted. He also gets frustrated when he can't beat like level 2,000,000,000 (seriously, this kid is way better than me). I was trying to encourage him saying to keep trying and don't give up. He said "Yeah, Bagley Boys don't give up". Well, yes Landon, that's right. Remember that.

Q&A with Landon

Landon: Mommy, why do we have two holes in our nose instead of just one big one?
Me: Ummm, I'm not sure. Because that's how God made us?

Note to self: google the anatomy of a nose.

Another Landon-ism

Me: Landon, you have to stop being so bossy or you're not going to have any friends.

Landon: Well, I guess I'm not going to have any friends because I'm not going to stop being bossy.

Even More Landon Funnies

While playing in his bed (during rest time), I heard him say "Awwwwww, you got my Christmas clothes all dirty. Great. How'd you like it if I got your Christmas clothes all dirty?"

L: Mommy, why don't we have anyone with dark skin in our family?
Me: Well...God made us with light skin.
L: Some families have light skin and some families have dark skin?
Me: That's right.
L: I hope God gives us a little baby girl with brown skin.
Me: speechless

Mommy, I still love you...even when you whip me.

Landon and Carter were in the backseat of the car. We were in a drive-thru and Carter was mad because I hadn't given him any food, so I gave him the receipt. Of course, he threw that in the floor. Landon said to Carter, "I am not giving that back to you Carter, because you don't deserve it".

Looking at the pictures on our indoor weather center, I told him that tomorrow will be sunny (pointing to the sun) with a few clouds (pointing to the clouds). Landon says to me "Mommy, that's called partly cloudy".

Landon, Landon - Always Keeping Me Laughing

A few recent conversations with Landon...

(in the car)
L: Mommy, are we in India?
K: No, we are in the United States of America.
L: Oh.

(getting home from church, Aunt Beth and Olive were over)
L: Mommy, can Aunt Beth put me to bed?
K: No baby, she has to put Olive to bed.
L: Well you can put Olive to bed and she can put me to bed.
K: She has to nurse Olive.
L: Well, don't you have milk in your boobies?
K: No baby, my milk is all gone now since Carter stopped nursing.
L: Mommy, can't you just put some in there tonight and feed Olive so Beth can put me to bed?

Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately

1. At supper, Landon said to me randomly "We learned all about planets today. You know, they are all on a track and they stay in their own track but if they bump into each other, we die".
2. Carter's latest obsessions are his Bible, the broom and the Swiffer. He totes them around all the time. A Bible-toting housekeeper.
3. Landon and I were reading a book about a King Phillip. He started laughing hysterically saying "Phillip...like Fill Up. Fill Up. (hysterical laughing) Fill Up."
4. Carter is also obsessed with Elmo. He used to hate bibs. He would tear them off the minute I put them on. I pulled out an Elmo bib the other day. Well, now he wants to wear his bib all of the time...way after dinner is over. I think he'd wear it to bed if I let him. He also likes to brush his teeth a lot with his Elmo toothbrush...but I have to reapply his toothpaste about every 30 seconds. I have to cut him off after a few refills.
5. We got home from school/work and Carter walked straight into the den, and then came back in the kitchen eating something. I asked Christopher what he had. He said "Oh, the rest of the Pop Tart that he was eating this morning. It's been sitting on the table all day." Mad props to Hokie for not eating that!
6. Carter thinks Landon is the most hilarious thing to walk this Earth. He can just look at Landon and bust out laughing. It's pretty cool.
7. The other day after the boys got back from ice sledding soaked, Landon decided he needed to take a shower with Daddy (which about made me fall out in the floor because Landon does not take showers, he hates the water in his face). So Christopher and Landon get in the shower. Then Carter walks up to the shower door and starts banging so I get him undressed, open the door and in he walks (Carter takes showers because he hates baths...he puked in the tub back in November and is traumatized. Seriously, he's fine in pools but will literally flip himself out of the tub and screams and shakes.). It was so funny seeing all 3 of them in that tiny little shower. Wish could have taken a picture but I'm trying to keep this G-rated. Then I hear..."Pee down the drain Landon, not on me!"

*This is the 400th post on my blog! That's a lot of blogging!

Don't Forget

Mommy: Landon, don't let me forget to get your library books in the morning - they are due back.
Landon: Okay Mommy, I won't. I have good "remembries".

Chatterbox

I've been told I talk a lot. I mean, I don't really think so. But whatever. Needless to say, Landon comes by it honestly. Here's a conversation we had that made me laugh so hard.

K: So I heard you didn't take a nap today at school? What did you do while your friends were sleeping?
L: I talked.
K: To who?
L: To Bryce, but then he fell asleep so I talked to myself.

WWJD?

I told Landon he could have fruit snacks after supper because I "thought" he had eaten a good supper. It looked like his plate was almost clean. Then his Daddy informed me that he didn't have much on his plate to start with so I told Landon he had to ask Daddy if he could have fruit snacks. Our conversation went a little like this:

L: Well, I'm not going to tell Daddy that I am getting fruit snacks.
K: That's not very honest.
L: I don't know what that word means???
K: It means that you're not telling the truth.
Silence
K: What would God want you to do?
Pause
L: He would want me to eat fruit snacks!!!

Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately...

• We had a pretty bad thunderstorm the other night when I was home alone with the boys. I told Landon that I was scared and he said "Don't worry - I'm your garderer". (Guardian, maybe?)
• Landon enjoyed dipping his apples in a self-invented concoction of ketchup, caramel sauce and Ranch.
• While the boys were in the bathtub, Carter leaned over and latched on to Landon's nipple and started sucking!
• Landon has a Darth Vader toy...but he calls it "Elevator" instead.
• Christopher bought mouse traps for the garage and was explaining how they worked to Landon. Landon asked "Are we catching them so we can cook them and eat them?" Christopher has a one-track mind and was distracted with what he was doing, and absent-mindedly answered YES! You should have seen the look on Landon's face!