Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Monday Afternoon from Where the Devil Lives

This is long, but I promise, very entertaining...

A phone conversation that I had at approximately 1:30 pm yesterday:

Daycare: Hi Katherine. This is (insert Assistant Director's name) from Morrisville Square Creative School. Both boys are okay.

Me: oooo-kay? (thinking - why are you calling? Do I owe you money???)

Daycare: Just wanted to give you a call to let you know that apparently Landon had mulch in his pocket from the playground, and at naptime he decided to stick it up his nose. It was about 1/2 inch long. We had him blow his nose for about 5 minutes and it miraculously came out. He's not in any pain and not bleeding. We just wanted to let you know.

Me: Okay, well thanks for calling. (thinking - seriously, Landon! Aren't you old enough to know we don't stick stuff up our nose?!?!)

I called the ped and they wanted to check him out just to make sure it all came out and that there wasn't any damage. Meanwhile I heard horror stories at work about how one person's kid stuck buttery, salt & peppered corn up their nose and their eye swelled and they had to blow for 4 hours straight to get it out. Another person told me how they shoved yarn up their nose as a kid and it began to rot and smell.

Fast forward to 4:45 when I arrived at the doctor's office for a 5:00 appointment with both boys (in hopes that both could get their flu shots while we were there). Landon is not stupid. On the way to the dr, he asked if he would have to get a shot (flash back to the meltdown he had a month ago just when I mentioned flu shots to Christopher at the supper table). I can't lie to him. Meltdown. I calmed him down by explaining why we get shots, that he's strong and brave, and has to set a good example for his brother, how it hurts only until the count of 3. He was ready.

AN HOUR LATER (with 2 very hungry and grumpy boys), the doctor checks out his nose and says it all looks ok. Then she asked if I wanted to go ahead and get their flu shots. Major meltdown. I have never seen Landon act the way he did. He was screaming and crying and sweating and fighting when you came near him and crawling away from you on the table and out of control. I'm crying because I hate seeing him this scared, I don't know how I am going to manage this, and I am embarrassed. Carter got his shot, cried for 2 seconds and was good. A nurse took Carter out so I could try to deal with Landon. After trying to talk to Landon to calm him down, I picked him up and the nurse swooped in, yanked the neck of his shirt down over his shoulder and popped the shot in. He screamed for a spilt-second, then looked at me and said "that didn't even hurt!".

Anyone ever try to wrestle a 40 pound greased pig? I think I now know what that would be like. In the middle of all of that wrangling, I managed to pull a muscle in my back that has me in a lot of pain and moving very slow. I chased down 3 Ibuprofen with 2 glasses of wine last night and laid on the couch with a heating pad. Calgon - take me away!

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